Nursery & Baby Worries

I'm all scheduled to be induced on Monday the 19th. Comin right on up. Am I scared out of my mind? Of course. So pumped to see what her little mug looks like? Naturally.

My parents have been here for about a week, and they have spoiled me senseless. I am so lucky. Slash, Ella is so lucky. My parents were masterminds and installed this fan in the nursery (all it had was a ceiling light before, and it gets so hot in there with the west facing windows... and I've heard good things about circulating air in the nursery... so we- with huge thanks to my parents- made it happen)

Above is the changing station in the closet. I have a little nook in the nursery where we were originally going to put the changing table, but it was a hellish experience trying to find a dresser that fit the dimensions of the nook. So, I revamped, and decided to put the changing table in the closet, and either a bookshelf or our rocking chair in the nook. Hopefully it works ok. 

The things I'm scared about most:
1. breastfeeding.
I've heard a lot of stories about how difficult it is- baby doesn't latch on right, it hurts a ton, baby doesn't get enough food so they don't gain weight, etc. But, then my mom's like, it was a piece of cake. So, I'm not sure how its gonna go for me.

2. Losing the baby weight.
I know, I'm beyond vain. But for real. I'm almost 190 lbs. I mean, yowza. I need to exercise and eat clean after Ella, but that stuff is hard to do even when you don't have a newborn.

3. Losing my personality
Yes. I still want to be Hannah AND Ella's mom. I still want to be able to talk with other people about things besides babies. I want to be an involved and awesome mom of course, but I still want to be me. I can already see myself sliding down a slippery slope on my all-baby blog posts!

Sidenote- this adorable photo from Natalie Holbrook's Blog makes me want to raise kids in New York City.

My mom and dad are coming into town today, and I'm just so excited.

Almost 36 Weeks

Yikes.

I'll be 36 weeks this Wednesday. Obviously, babies are all I can think about it. If you look at my browsing history on my internet browser.. you'll see words like, "Lasinoh Nipple Cream," "burp cloths," and "convertible baby bag." ... yea.

Pros:
-I'm pregnant.

Cons:
-my feet are so swollen. This is a recent development. Even flip flops leave marks on my feet. Flip Flops. ...the loosest shoes possible. Brent is tired of hearing about it.
-I make an unidentifiable noise every time I pick something up off the floor.
-...
-I thought I would have more cons... and suddenly I can't think of anything else besides swollen feet and... perhaps my life is better than I thought.

Almost 35 Weeks

I keep trying to imagine our life with a newborn... and I just can't do it! When I picture it in my mind, it seems more like bringing home a new puppy... But no. Brent and I will be responsible for this little thing- and its an actual person, not a pet. Like, what we do will impact its life! My mind is blown every time thinking about it. And then I'm like- calm it down sister, a lot of people have babies, it happens every day, no biggie.

Anyhow, I read online how some ladies are so gaga about being pregnant. Let me be real. It's not all that cool (although I'm so grateful for being pregnant- don't even think I'm not- I just want to keep it real, its not all a big picnic). Its so hard to move. I get winded walking up the stairs (and bending to pick something up, or washing the dishes, or tying my shoes, or sneezing- not even joking). I can't even remember a time when my stomach wasn't in the way. Some of my maternity clothes are even a little too snug these days (how is that even possible?). I've been super lucky with the maternity clothes though, I've only bought a few things (and my mom snagged me a few things at Christmas time), and everything else has been hand-me-downs from a few of my sister-in-laws.

A little medical update:
Because of diabetes, I have a non-stress test at the doctor twice a week (these started at 32 weeks) until delivery. I'm hooked up to two little monitors on my stomach for about 30 min that measure the babe's heart rate and any contractions I have (right now, I just have super little ones that I can only sometimes feel- the old Braxton Hicks sort of thing). It's called a non-stress test, not because it measures how stressful my life is and how it's affecting the baby (what I originally thought), but because it's measuring the baby's vitals when the baby is at it's status-quo, or non-stressed.

The red line is the baby's heart rate and the blue line measures my contractions. Those spikes in the blue line are just me coughing, or sitting up, or some small sort of contraction of my middle section- nothing real, thank goodness.

On Friday, I had an ultrasound. The little thing is 5 lbs! She looks like a real person already and no longer a little alien. Her growth is right on schedule. I have the right amount of amniotic fluid (The doctor said if my diabetes was out of control I'd have too much amniotic fluid). I mean, we are blessed that she is so healthy.

Am I ready for Eleanor to be here? Negative. I have a crib (but still no sheet! I need to get on that) and a car seat and a few baby clothes from my mom and the Goodwill store. I keep wanting to buy things, but then I'm like, shoot do I really need it? Then I chicken out. I'm so pumped for my mom to fly into town, then she can take charge- someone needs to, heavens.

xoxo

P.S. I have stretch marks on the sides of my stomach and legs. They're gross. I'll get over my vanity eventually...