I keep trying to imagine our life with a newborn... and I just can't do it! When I picture it in my mind, it seems more like bringing home a new puppy... But no. Brent and I will be responsible for this little thing- and its an actual person, not a pet. Like, what we do will impact its life! My mind is blown every time thinking about it. And then I'm like- calm it down sister, a lot of people have babies, it happens every day, no biggie.
Anyhow, I read online how some ladies are so gaga about being pregnant. Let me be real. It's not all that cool (although I'm so grateful for being pregnant- don't even think I'm not- I just want to keep it real, its not all a big picnic). Its so hard to move. I get winded walking up the stairs (and bending to pick something up, or washing the dishes, or tying my shoes, or sneezing- not even joking). I can't even remember a time when my stomach wasn't in the way. Some of my maternity clothes are even a little too snug these days (how is that even possible?). I've been super lucky with the maternity clothes though, I've only bought a few things (and my mom snagged me a few things at Christmas time), and everything else has been hand-me-downs from a few of my sister-in-laws.
A little medical update:
Because of diabetes, I have a non-stress test at the doctor twice a week (these started at 32 weeks) until delivery. I'm hooked up to two little monitors on my stomach for about 30 min that measure the babe's heart rate and any contractions I have (right now, I just have super little ones that I can only sometimes feel- the old Braxton Hicks sort of thing). It's called a non-stress test, not because it measures how stressful my life is and how it's affecting the baby (what I originally thought), but because it's measuring the baby's vitals when the baby is at it's status-quo, or non-stressed.
The red line is the baby's heart rate and the blue line measures my contractions. Those spikes in the blue line are just me coughing, or sitting up, or some small sort of contraction of my middle section- nothing real, thank goodness.
On Friday, I had an ultrasound. The little thing is 5 lbs! She looks like a real person already and no longer a little alien. Her growth is right on schedule. I have the right amount of amniotic fluid (The doctor said if my diabetes was out of control I'd have too much amniotic fluid). I mean, we are blessed that she is so healthy.
Am I ready for Eleanor to be here? Negative. I have a crib (but still no sheet! I need to get on that) and a car seat and a few baby clothes from my mom and the Goodwill store. I keep wanting to buy things, but then I'm like, shoot do I really need it? Then I chicken out. I'm so pumped for my mom to fly into town, then she can take charge- someone needs to, heavens.
xoxo
P.S. I have stretch marks on the sides of my stomach and legs. They're gross. I'll get over my vanity eventually...
