The Pool

We went to the pool with my old college room mates and it was so good. It takes a bit of work to go the pool with a kid (putting on the swim diaper, the sunblock, packing the snacks, the drinks, the floaties that take up a lot of space but may or may not be used, the towels, the sun glasses, blah blah) but it is always so worth it. And spending time with these ladies below makes me realize that I dont have any girl friends any more and its a real bummer. Somehow, now that I have a family, I don't make as good friends for myself anymore- like my guard is up because oh, my family is my best friend right now, but that doesn't quite cut it all the time.

I got Ella a doctor kit, and it came with glasses...? I was getting her pajamas ready for her one time after a bath and she ran in in the nude and with these glasses. ha, its pretty cute hearing her say "doctor kit" and it helps her stay still during a diaper change if I tell her she's having surgery (brent came up with that one, kudos).

Comparison

Interesting to compare. I think the bump looks a little pointier? The summer is too hot already for me to be pregnant. Yeesh. Also, my Grandma Phoebe is coming to Utah on Thursday and I hope she loves it. She hasn't come here in ages and I really hope we can show her a good time.

Anxiousness

I get anxious about stupid stuff, and its annoying me. For instance:

• Ella's room has simply her bed in it, and a rocking chair for the rare instance I rock her to sleep. nothing else. nothing on the walls, no dresser (I still use the one in her nursery- which will be given to the next kid). I'm getting anxious about it. I feel this weird necessity to put her room together. But then I look online for ideas and things are so pricey and I think to myself, are colorful pom pom banners and decorative plants really necessary? No, they ain't. 
• Finding a nursing bra. I've been looking at amazon for ages and I. just. can't. decide.
• I searched online for 2-3 weeks for summer sandals for Ella so her feet wouldn't get hot. It made me stressed. so many options. whats worth what price? will she wear it? is it comfortable? should i get sandals that cover the toes? I mean good hell, she is 2.

I look at this teeny list. Stupid stuff. Why do I get anxious about it? Good question. Also, all of them are about shopping... that is not something to stress over. Perhaps I need to reevaluate my priorities.

Toddlerhood

Hello. Ella's just turned two. She's a tantrum throwing, attention demanding, opinionated, extremely irrational and infuriating toddler. A real joy.

I hope it all channels into a confident and strong woman when she's older- but I don't know if I'll live to see it, as I constantly want to jump into a lake. Changing a diaper, getting into the car seat, not getting multiple bottles of milk in a row (I'm weirdly quite embarrassed that I haven't weaned her from bottles by now), leaving my parents house, not being able to go outside because I'm half naked because its 7am- all big challenges.

And on that note, we are expecting a second baby girl on Oct 4. We are very happy, and extremely anxious. Eh, Brent doesn't seem too anxious, just me I think.

Her 20 week ultrasound profile (here's Ella's ultrasound profile. I guess they look pretty similar...). I'm pleased to hear she's measuring well and everything seems healthy so far- which is always a miracle with diabetes and all.

My google search history consists of, "tips for a newborn with a toddler" and "how to handle a toddler tantrum in public" and "how to respond when someone says you look tired."

That last one- someone said it to me at work the other day AND someone at church asked my mom if I feeling alright- they thought I looked so tired. I will never say that to someone from now on- I guess its coming from a place of concern, but it reads as, you look horrible and let me mention it your face. I've decided my response will be a slight grimace with, "Huh, bummer. I feel quite good." Then, hopefully they will feel embarrassed.

Also, I have now bought 3 of the exact same dresses in different colors. It is so comfortable- like jersey- and long enough and loose enough and with a high neck to not worry about a thing. Excellent with and without pregnancy.

Plus, it's my sweet mom and mother-in-law's birthdays this upcoming 2 weeks (Billie is June 7th and Kathy Mouritsen is the 9th). If you have any awesome gift ideas, I'd love to hear. My mom is so so so good with Ella. I have to constantly remind myself that she's already had 4 kids herself and so I can't compare myself. We are very lucky.